I love what you’re doing here and bringing to the collective attention and awareness the need for a preventative approach to the shelter and rehoming questions. It’s pioneering and much needed. The example of Nova and her family and stepping in to support the process is fantastic and absolutely the right direction to move in.
I would also add that on top of all of this, I also see a need to start shifting our relationship to animals and pets in particular, to where the question of letting go of a dog because of a change in situation is itself not a question to be asked or assumed. We rarely assume the same if it were a grandmother or another child. This isn’t meant to judge anyone, but I do feel that we have a long ways to go towards full prevention and a deeper sense of our relationship with other living beings—including human ones.
Thank you again for all the positive steps you’re modeling in this direction.
Thank you, this means a lot, and you are pointing right at the part that takes the longest to change. You are correct that we treat a pet's place in the family as negotiable in a way we never would for a grandmother or a child, and that quiet assumption does a lot of the damage long before anyone ever calls a shelter.
Here is how I hold it, and where I think we land in the same place. I do not want to get there by making surrender shameful, because shame is exactly what keeps people from reaching out in the first place. Most of the families I talk to are not out of love. They are out of options. The dog is not negotiable to them either. What is missing is the thing that lets them keep the dog through the hard month, the vet bill, the move, the new baby. Build that, and the first question stops being "do I have to give up my dog," because a better one is finally available: "who can help me keep him."
So I read your point and mine as the same thing from two ends. You want a culture that treats the bond as non-negotiable. I am building the support that makes it possible to live that way when life gets hard. We need both. The values pull the system forward, and the system protects the values.
Nova is that in miniature. Her family never stopped loving her. They needed a way through, and there was one. That is the world I am after, one where there is always a way through.
Thank you for reading this closely and pushing it further. That is how it spreads.
Thank you, this means a lot, and you are pointing right at the part that takes the longest to change. You are correct that we treat a pet's place in the family as negotiable in a way we never would for a grandmother or a child, and that quiet assumption does a lot of the damage long before anyone ever calls a shelter.
Here is how I hold it, and where I think we land in the same place. I do not want to get there by making surrender shameful, because shame is exactly what keeps people from reaching out in the first place. Most of the families I talk to are not out of love. They are out of options. The dog is not negotiable to them either. What is missing is the thing that lets them keep the dog through the hard month, the vet bill, the move, the new baby. Build that, and the first question stops being "do I have to give up my dog," because a better one is finally available: "who can help me keep him."
So I read your point and mine as the same thing from two ends. You want a culture that treats the bond as non-negotiable. I am building the support that makes it possible to live that way when life gets hard. We need both. The values pull the system forward, and the system protects the values.
Nova is that in miniature. Her family never stopped loving her. They needed a way through, and there was one. That is the world I am after, one where there is always a way through.
Thank you for reading this closely and pushing it further. That is how it spreads.
I love what you’re doing here and bringing to the collective attention and awareness the need for a preventative approach to the shelter and rehoming questions. It’s pioneering and much needed. The example of Nova and her family and stepping in to support the process is fantastic and absolutely the right direction to move in.
I would also add that on top of all of this, I also see a need to start shifting our relationship to animals and pets in particular, to where the question of letting go of a dog because of a change in situation is itself not a question to be asked or assumed. We rarely assume the same if it were a grandmother or another child. This isn’t meant to judge anyone, but I do feel that we have a long ways to go towards full prevention and a deeper sense of our relationship with other living beings—including human ones.
Thank you again for all the positive steps you’re modeling in this direction.
Thank you, this means a lot, and you are pointing right at the part that takes the longest to change. You are correct that we treat a pet's place in the family as negotiable in a way we never would for a grandmother or a child, and that quiet assumption does a lot of the damage long before anyone ever calls a shelter.
Here is how I hold it, and where I think we land in the same place. I do not want to get there by making surrender shameful, because shame is exactly what keeps people from reaching out in the first place. Most of the families I talk to are not out of love. They are out of options. The dog is not negotiable to them either. What is missing is the thing that lets them keep the dog through the hard month, the vet bill, the move, the new baby. Build that, and the first question stops being "do I have to give up my dog," because a better one is finally available: "who can help me keep him."
So I read your point and mine as the same thing from two ends. You want a culture that treats the bond as non-negotiable. I am building the support that makes it possible to live that way when life gets hard. We need both. The values pull the system forward, and the system protects the values.
Nova is that in miniature. Her family never stopped loving her. They needed a way through, and there was one. That is the world I am after, one where there is always a way through.
Thank you for reading this closely and pushing it further. That is how it spreads.
BJ
Thank you, this means a lot, and you are pointing right at the part that takes the longest to change. You are correct that we treat a pet's place in the family as negotiable in a way we never would for a grandmother or a child, and that quiet assumption does a lot of the damage long before anyone ever calls a shelter.
Here is how I hold it, and where I think we land in the same place. I do not want to get there by making surrender shameful, because shame is exactly what keeps people from reaching out in the first place. Most of the families I talk to are not out of love. They are out of options. The dog is not negotiable to them either. What is missing is the thing that lets them keep the dog through the hard month, the vet bill, the move, the new baby. Build that, and the first question stops being "do I have to give up my dog," because a better one is finally available: "who can help me keep him."
So I read your point and mine as the same thing from two ends. You want a culture that treats the bond as non-negotiable. I am building the support that makes it possible to live that way when life gets hard. We need both. The values pull the system forward, and the system protects the values.
Nova is that in miniature. Her family never stopped loving her. They needed a way through, and there was one. That is the world I am after, one where there is always a way through.
Thank you for reading this closely and pushing it further. That is how it spreads.
BJ